The Holidays....

I know that I have been a bad blogger and probably will be in the future as well.

I need to write a blog for myself...as a reminder of what challenges I have ahead of me.

As everyone knows, the holidays are upon us and carry-ins have begun at my work. It also doesn't help that my boss and co-worker eat fast food A LOT. I have to understand that what I am feeling now is much better than how fast food tastes. Fast food is a semi-permanent result to a temporary desire. I don't need to eat that crap. Yes, my lemon pepper fish will not taste as good as a taco or french fries, but it's all about the desired result.

I got a stationary punching bag for Christmas from Kyle and pink boxing gloves from my trainer. My trainer and I have already decided that I need to kick up the cardio. So, we box for a full hour when I train with her on Wednesdays. She wants me to box 3 times a week for an hour at home now that I have the punching bag. Additionally, if I can find a way to get to the gym 2x a week to do 30 minutes on the elliptical, I'll be in good shape. My trainer decided that we need to not worry so much about the weights. The toning is going very well, but I need to be losing weight.

I REALLY need to get my happy butt back onto sparkpeople.com and log my food. It's too damn easy NOT to!

So, my goal for this week is to make sure that I don't "let myself go" just because it is the holidays. NO BUYING CANDY FROM BIG LOTS JUST BECAUSE IT IS NEXT DOOR. No matter how badly I get pressured from co-workers or family, I WILL not give up. I am making progress and don't want to slow myself down.

Here's to a fresh start??

I know that I have several journals/blogs, etc floating around in cyberspace. Why create another one? Well, I need something for myself again. Live Journal was what I needed in college, but my interest for that has died. Myspace is great for re-connecting with old friends/classmates, but is not a good place to "spill my business."

I have a trainer and work out with her once a week. I have been working out with her since July. I have not lost one single pound. I know that it is related to the fact that I only go to the gym 1-3 times a week and my food is probably not what it should be.

I know that she means well...I know she does. She has helped my boyfriend lose 100 pounds and dozens of inches over the last year. It's just that I don't feel like I can connect with her quite like he did.

I am frustrated because I can't seem to find something that works for me. Afterall, isn't that the point? Diets generally don't work, it's a lifestyle change. OK. Why did she tell me that maybe I should look into an appetite suppressant? Diet pills? Do I spend $140 a month to have you tell me that I should look into getting addicted to a diet pill? I just don't know....

I'd like to think that food and exercise is not the only problem. In fact, I'd like to think that there are several other factors and that all I can do is take it one step at a time.

I don't like counting calories...it doesn't work for me. I cannot make the recipes I find online because Kyle is a very picky eater. I mean, I can only make Taco Bake and Spaghetti so many times a week.

I've been thinking that maybe I'd look into a program where meals are shipped to me in perfect portion size. Of course I could always eat Weight Watchers or Lean Cuisine, but they are high in sodium and trading fat for high cholesterol is not ideal.

I get so frustrated..I know it's not easy. If it were, our country would not have the problems we do. I just wish I could figure out what works for me.

*Sigh*